Night Time For Donny
It’s dinner time at the White House. Donny Trump was sitting in his big boy chair tonight but getting a little antsy. He was not-so-patiently waiting for his personal chef, Ronny McDonny, to make him his usual heap of cheeseburgers and platter of fries. Sitting across from him is his foreign made robotic wife, Melania 2.0.
“Melania 2.0! I still smell like the icky tear gas!” He said as he sniffed the dirtied palms of his hands.
“Well Donny, you wanted them to give you a show. You will just have to take a bath after supper.”
“BUT TUESDAY IS BATH NIGHT! IT IS FRIDAY!”
“It is ok to bathe more than once a week, especially if you walked through the remnants of a smelly substance.”
“I got those bullies good right Melania 2.0? You saw how I used those men with the medieval shield! I am the best at being brave! I am going to be so brave tomorrow and call the National Guard to get those bad people. All of them! I AM THE BRAVEST EVER!”
“You are my brave little man.”
The dining room doors open and Ronny McDonny wheels out dinner. Melania 2.0 takes Donny’s favorite “MAGA” bib and ties it right under his third chin. Ronny places the burgers and fries in front of Donny as he begins to pick one by one at the grease slop in front of him. He also pulls out an oil can, giving Melania 2.0 a few squirts in her hinges.
“Donny, say thank you to Chef Ronny please.”
“No! You’re embarrassing me Melania 2.0! I thought I disabled that function in your database!”
“You need to show manners, Donny. What if you ever having tea with the queen?”
“The Queen already knows I am the best at saying thank you, I am this good at saying it!”
Donny throws his hands up, showing with his hands how much “good” he is at saying thank you. Ronny leaves the room, leaving the two to eat in silence.
Donny scarfs down his dinner, but is kind enough to save a little scrap for his pet turtle Mitchy. Melania 2.0 wipes his face clean with a napkin embroidered with Hilary Clinton, making sure to rub the ketchup and mustard into his pores to sustain his orange hue. He gets up and tosses his bib on the floor and runs to TV room in his special “Brave Bunker.”
“FOX AND FRIENDS, FOX AND FRIENDS!” He chants as Melania 2.0 turns on his favorite show. Donny enjoys the world of make believe before he goes to bed. He listens to all the nice things that “Fox and Friends” has to say as they have adventures in their make believe land of supremacy.
“Ok, it is time to say good night Donny. You have a long day at the golf course tomorrow!”
“Do I have to?” He whines.
“Yes, it is your duty.”
“Fine!”
“AMERICA FIRST! GOOD NIGHT!” He yells to the protesting crowd.
From a megaphone.
From a window in his bunker.
From behind the makeshift walls.
Melania then gives Donny his unwanted bath, brushes his little presidential teeth, and gives him his nightly combover brushing. She then tucks Donny’s flabby little body into bed and kisses him on the forehead.
“Good night my sweet president. Don’t let the Antifa bite.”
Melania 2.0 walks to her corner, plugs in her charger, and puts herself on sleep mode.